Hugh Jackman: The Man. The Music. The Show.

I went to the Hugh Jackman show and lost my diamond ring!

I’m so out of touch with the outside world that my six-year-old son had to tell me about this show.

First Born: Mrs P. told us in class that Hugh Jackman is doing The Greatest Showman show in London.

Me: Huge Ackman? (I’m the only one laughing).

Second Born: In real life?

First Born: Yeah!

Second Born: Sweet!

Me: Fake news!

It wasn’t until another mum had confirmed and most of the tickets were sold that I realised that First Born was telling the truth. I had to sell an arm and a leg and one of the boys’ torso to get the tickets. I even made H miss his trip to WWDC just so he could help me. I challenge anyone to take two boys under seven to the O2 centre and not lose one of them. As it happened, I didn’t lose a boy, but I lost something equally precious: a diamond ring my Mum gave me which my Dad had given her.

It all started off well. We had an early supper at Wagamamas and the boys managed to not break or spill or drop anything. Possibly because we insisted that they use the training chopsticks. They had to focus so hard on it they didn’t have time to mess around. (They didn’t manage to eat very much either but …) Afterwards, we used the new, funky AXS tickets which kept refreshing every 15 seconds, so I had to time it just right as we got to the door which opened at 6.30pm. That was my first mistake! We got there too early. The show which was supposed to start at 7.15pm, didn’t start until 7.45pm. That was enough to drive my boys mad. We had to ply them with brownies to keep them under control.

But once Hugh Jackman came on stage, singing, ‘Ladies and Gents this is the moment you’re waiting for,’ both First Born and Second Born calmed right down. It was like Valium! This was followed by a powerful rendition of Come Alive complete with dancers in the background doing some pretty amazing stunts. Hugh Jackman was unbelievable! He talked about his personal life, how he got his first break, what he was like as a child. He was actually very funny. Time for the next number which was a song from Oklahoma. Everyone’s enjoying it. I’m clapping my hands when I turn around and find First Born glowering at me.

Me: What’s the matter?

First Born: Why is he not singing The Greatest Showman songs?

That was my second mistake: Not making it clear that this is not just The Greatest Showman.

Me: It is called: The Man. The Music. The Show. He’ll be talking and singing songs from other films as well.

Second Born: You mean Wolverine?

Me: (Roll my eyes) Wolverine doesn’t have any songs.

Second Born: How am I supposed to know? You never let me see it.

H: Shhhhhh!

The hushed argument about Wolverine and The Greatest Showman continued until just before the interval when Keala Settle came on stage and sang This Is Me. (Apparently, three leading actresses were gunning for Keala’s role who was chosen only after she sang this song at a practice session.) It definitely worked for my boys as it again calmed them down for a bit. At about 9 o’clock, I suggested that we go home as it was a school night, but I was immediately vetoed by First Born. ‘I want to wait for From Now On.‘ Fine! Second Born was too tired by now and came and sat in my lap. Mistake number three. He kept fidgeting and head butting my chin so I put him back in his chair. Ten minutes after the show restarted, I realised my ring was gone! GONE!

I was distraught! I whipped my phone out and started looking under the seats which were covered in gum and fluff and cobwebs. The floor was sticky with coke that the lady behind me had spilt earlier. Undeterred I carried on looking, but I couldn’t find it. Hugh Jackman was finally singing From Now On. Everyone was waving their phones with the flash on, my boys were yawning and swaying, while I was on my knees looking for my ring. I even missed Hugh twerking. The show finished with a five-minute applause, everyone left, but the four of us were still there. Two staff members came to help me but to no avail. Finally, we had to be kicked out.

Of course, I called the next day and they hadn’t found it. I wondered if it had fallen in Wagamamas, but no luck there either. It was a gold ring with twenty-one diamonds, so if anyone decided to keep it I wouldn’t blame them. But I’d like to think maybe it rolled all the way to Huge Ackman’s foot and he picked it up and put it on. Now when I see my bare finger I imagine the ring on him and I don’t feel so bad.